FFS Friday - Does that make me crazy?

I'm 90% sure that I've totally lost my mind or am in the process of losing my mind. Kids do that to you. My Dad always used to tell me he wasn't suffering from insanity he was enjoying it. I can't say I'm enjoying it but it's almost definitely happening. A few weeks ago was the perfect example.

Tiger was away, it was the Saturday morning of a long weekend. Long weekends suck when you are solo parenting. I was in the shower. As usual, both boys were with me. Chai has gone back to cling factor ten and I have to be in his line of sight at all times. Fun.

Eljay totally over reacts whenever Chai touches him. Chai will touch him and Eljay will scream as if his arm has been chopped off.

So. I'm in the shower. Both boys are in the room. I'm trying to wake up, de-stress and perform my daily ablutions. Chai touches Eljay on the arm with one finger. Eljay screams, starts crying, chases Chai, grabs him around the waist and head-butts him in the back eight times. Yes, you read that right, eight times. He then lets Chai go and retreats to the other side of the room.

Chai looks at him, walks over and touches him on the arm again. Eljay screams, runs over, grabs him around the waist and head-butts him eight times. He lets him go and retreats to the other side of the room. By this time they are both screaming, crying and yelling. I've only just gotten into the shower. I contemplate getting out then for some crazy reason that even I don't understand, I stay in the shower. 

They continue with this routine the whole time I'm in the shower. I don't know whether to scream or cry so instead I face the wall laugh hysterically, I laugh so much I have tears running down my face. The whole time I'm laughing I'm wondering if I've lost my mind and think that I probably have. I don't know what it feels like to lose you mind but I'm pretty sure it feels like I did when I was in the shower. 

I got out, dried myself, calmed the boys down, fed them, had a discussion about how fighting doesn't make them feel good or happy and took them to the park. The boys fought the whole time. After I'd warned them for the fifth time I'd had enough so told them we were leaving. They both roared with tears the whole trip to the car. Naturally the car was at the other end of the playground so the entire playground watched as we walked screaming to the car. 

Both boys spent the whole trip home crying at the top of their lungs. I turned up the music as loud as I could and cried the whole way home too. Even with the music up full bore I could still hear them screaming. 

Parenting is tough. There are times I think it'll break me. In fact it has broken me, over and over again it breaks me, but like the phoenix I rise again to parent another day.